Why I'm giving up Symphonic Auditions.

It's September, and post pandemic there are so many audition opportunities right now. This month I applied to take 2 auditions, one for ABT who had 3 openings in their viola section, and 1 for associate principal of the Philadelphia Opera. And at the last minute, I canceled my ABT audition, not only because I really haven't been preparing for it, but because it actually doesn't feel right to me.

So here's the thing I've been coming to terms with. I'm just not interested in participating in a process with little to gain. I know full heartedly that I'm 100% qualified for any position I apply for. That's #1. So I'm not taking auditions to prove my worth any longer. I also value my time and effort much more these days for things that are going to more likely get me closer to what I want in life, which entails personally meaningful musical experiences that have nothing to do with a paycheck. Don't get me wrong, I don't advocate working for free but I'm more interested in the deeper meaning behind why I play, perform, share music with others. I want to feel valued and connected with those I perform with.

Now, if I had that kind of experience with a group and was offered an opportunity to audition, I'd strongly reconsider my stance. But to just generally toss my resume around, spend hundreds of dollars on a 10 minute opportunity that may or more than likely, NOT work out in my favor, I choose to say no.

What do you think? What are your reasons around audition taking? Are you passionate about orchestral performance, or are you taking auditions because you're not sure what other options to consider?